Awesome? Not really…

You know, everything is more attractive to do than writing graduation theses… So I remembered I was writing a blog that was untouched for a year.

I created it on a day when I was especially bored, so I had to do something. I felt depressed and ugly…and fat. I got back a half of the weight I successfully lost five years before that time. I knew my problem was that I ate too much. I tried to eat healthy food as usual, I like it, it has became my lifestyle since I was losing weight at the age of 17… but I always have a wish to eat something all the time (it started when I was 20 or 21, it’s because of restrictions, I guess) and binge eating episodes were the reason for all this kilos I don’t want…the reason for change from fit to fat. The blog was made to help myself with writing. I admit, sometimes I was waiting for likes, follows and comments, sometimes I checked them immediately I woke up. And I liked writing. Sometimes it was helpful, sometimes I got the motivation. However I can’t say it really changed me. It was just one of many good tries that last few weeks. Eating only healthy food, counting calories sometimes and make my workouts harder… Unfortunately I always go back to eating. When I have this periods of being “good”, I lose weight, but very slowly. Not 0,5 kilos per week as wanted, but only 0,5-1 kg per month. The weight I can get back in 2 or 3 days…

Since I stopped writing, I lost no weight. Worse…I reached the number 50 and over. In two months of “dieting” my weight went back to 49, but it was the lowest measured. It was moving between 49 and 50 all the time. I guess I am there now. I hope I’m not over 50 again. Of course I lost my motivation, I made some mistakes I couldn’t forgive and move on, but just make everything worse and my workouts were less hard and efficient.

I’m currently at the “bad” period. Not really binge eating, but also not having any order of my meals. Sometimes it’s not my fault. Drinking some beer, sometimes eating at 11. p.m. or having no social life (or even spending less time with my boyfriend)?

Talking about workouts at the gym… I was on holiday a week ago and I my workouts were not really efficient there (I wanted to do TRX in the shadow of a forest, but I the mosquitoes were biting me). Since I came back I was in the gym twice. I didn’t count two days when I went there, but I was to tired to do a proper training. Besides of my depression, I am tired all the time last days. You know that feeling, when you get up very early in the morning? When you hardly move and have a weak headache and have to sit for a while to get normal? I feel like this all the time. I don’t know why did it happen and how to solve it. I know it is not because I don’t eat enough (I do, even too much), it is not lack of water, because I try to drink enough. The weather is very hot, above 30 °C, but feeling so tired still isn’t normal.


Something very wierd happened yesterday. I was at the gym in the evening, but I left soon because of headache and tiredness. I decided not to eat after drinking my whey proteins, because it was around 9 p.m., I should’t eat so late! But I started to crave for something salty, so I ate about 100 g of feta cheese without anything else, just the salty white cheese. I don’t like it without tomatoes and cucumbers, it is too salty then. I don’t like very salty food. I crave for something that taste sweet all the time… strange. Maybe I had lack of electrolytes, I don’t know.

Today I felt tired in the morning, but better later. It was a very hot day. I didn’t want to walk to the gym, even though I felt guilty eating a scoop of ice cream (on the walk with my friends) and some other foods that weren’t breakfast, lunch or dinner. Just to have something in my mouth… I wish I could finally get over these and start to make good decisions and lose the weight in a healthy way. I wish my tiredness and depression to go away. I hope I would feel good enough in my body one day…

I promise I’ll write something more interesting in my next posts. Anyway, thanks to anyone, who’s reading 🙂



20150718_225013It’s been one week since my cousin (this beautiful princess in the picture) got married. The wedding took place in Italy, it was too hot outside, I hardly survive, but it was still an awesome wedding. I wish them all the best, they really are a good couple. My lovely people – I know how much hard work and worries the preparation for your day has taken, you did it great! Enjoy your honeymoon now. ❤

Talking for myself – I don’t know if I want to get married one day (I like weddings, but they require a lot of organization, time, money etc.). My boyfriend certainly doesn’t like these things – especially not churches. I’ve become an atheist, too.

Married or not – doesn’t matter. I want us to stay together another couple of years, having such a good time we’ve had so far. How about forever? Sounds perfect! 🙂


80/10/10 book review: Part 1 – proteins

Hello guys 🙂

I’m back after a longer break. I’ve been keeping eating healthy food with lots of veggies and fruit and almost no sweets, I still work out 5 times a week and I drink so much water, I’m sure I have never drunk so much before, but the days are hot and I’m thursty all the time. I also got a new student job at a small restaurant in the town center, so I broke my writing habit, but I’ll continue right now. 🙂

A few days ago I finally finished the book Diet 80/10/10 by Dr. Douglas N. Graham. I heard of it about 1 year ago, following many vegan pages and groups on Facebook. I had no intension to read it, if I haven’t found it in the superfood store where I had worked before, I’d probably never read it. But thanks to the boredom at workplace with almost no custumers, the book came in my hands.

I knew about the meaning of the numbers before: 80% carbohydrates, 10% protein, 10% fat. As a recreative athlete I am hearing and reading all the time about the importance of protein. Not only that our muscles are consisted of them, but also our skin, nails, hair, bones, teeth… I try to get them mostly from whey, plant sources (beans, peas, chickpeas, brown rice, quinoa, tofu, soy milk, broccoli, spinach, seeds, nuts, hemp powder…) and also eggs sometimes. Eating dead animals bodies is just disgusting, I never wanted to do it and I’ll never do it again. Maybe I’ll even move forward and go vegan one day. I like cheese too much, but giving up dairy is not the problem that cannot be solved. I have to go living on my own first, right now I have to be happy there are no more arguments between me and whole family of meat eaters. Going back to topic, proteins are good for us. And what does Graham’s book say – only 10% of protein? I’m not sure if it is enough.

What I learnt from the book about proteins:

1. American government reccomands between 10 and 35 percent of protein in your daily food intake. Did you know that the average percent of protein from all the food a person eats in one day (talking about an average american, who eats everything including meat, fish, eggs, dairy…) is just 16. It is closer to 10 than 35, right? Actually people hardly hit the number 25, unless they strictly eat mostly protein powders and egg whites. As Graham says, 10% or little less than that of protein from your food is completely enough. Once we stop growing, we need very little “building material”. Even athlets and bodybuilders don’t need more than 10% of protein from food. They oftenly restrict carbs and increase protein intake, because they think proteins promote strenghthening their muscles. That’s wrong, proteins theirselves don’t make muscles any stronger, weight lifting does. What is true about the need of higher protein intake: if someone doesn’t eat enough carbohydrates, there are more proteins reqired in order to transfer them into carbohydrates, which are the “fuel” for the body. – Believe it or not – I don’t get it. Body can make carbohydrates from protein?? It seems like nonsense to me. Is there anyone, who can explain?

2. Combining different protein sources to get all the essencial aminoacids is a myth. We need all 20 AA to make protein chains, but we don’t have to get all of them in one day.

3. All the plants have proteins. – It seems logical to me. Cells are made of proteins, right? Yes, all the plants have cells. Therefore all the plants have proteins. So lack of protein doesn’t exist. The nature itself takes care for us to get them enough 🙂 Here is the table to show the percentage of protein in some plants and foods made of plants (spaghetti :D)

To be more precise, it is counted how many percents of calories (not of weight) do proteins represent (it means water is not included).

4. “High protein” diets don’t exist. The reason for this is that “protein foods” we eat (meat – at least 50% of fat, eggs – 60% of fat, diary products – up to 88% of fat, nuts, seeds – up to 75% of fat) also contain high amounts of fat, so the percent of protein gets lower.


My conclusion: Many protein sources really have also very high amount of fat, that’s why we should be careful not to eat too much of these foods in order to get proteins. I think that required amount of protein depends of person’s sport activity and muscle work. “Overdosing” them may be harmful for the liver and exhausting for the body to digest. But I’m still sceptical if 10% is enough. I’ll stop thinking so much where would I get the proteins from for every meal, because of the things I learnt from the book, but it won’t change the sources of protein I take (vegetables, legumes, hemp, seeds, nuts, greek yoghurt, cottage cheese, eggs and whey).

I meant to write the whole review in one post, but I discovered it goes slow and it would be too long. And you people don’t like reading really long blog posts, do you? I prefer shorter. So I decided to write it part by part. In the next one I’ll discuss fats.

Your comments, questions, opinions, maybe also experiences are welcome. 🙂

Shopping, chocolate and Cosmo


After days of eating clean and less than I did before (picnic on Friday doesn’t count – acting like you are on the diet at social events makes you being loke a person no one wants to invite, besides that: you have to have a “cheat day” once a week) I treated myself with a raw chocolate bar after dinner. I took just one piece first and almost changed my mind to eat it all, but I was still a little bit hungry and 150 calories is not too much, after all, my salad for dinner probably had them even less. I’m a chocoholic, there’s no doubt. 😉
Cosmopolitan is another thing I’m addicted to. So is Elle and other similar magazines. Unfortunatelly I read them in no time. The good thing is that blogs exist – they are like the same thing and you have new stuff to read all the time. So awesome.


I’m not really a shopping lover. In fact, I don’t even like it. I never liked to spend  hours at the malls in the shops trying the clothes on. I like many things, but I have no idea how to combine these stuff to look like I have a style. Anyway, I went shopping because I had no shorts at all. And I just gave away many old T-shirts, so I had to change my summer wardrobe. I bought two pairs of shorts and one black top.
My food today:
Breakfast: green smoothie and coffee with soy milk (around 300 kcal)
After workout: whey proteins (around 100 kcal)
Lunch: green salad with beans and greek yoghurt dressing, rice with peppers, tomatoes and eggplant (500-600 kcal (?) I have no feeling here how much it was)
Dinner: salad (lunch leftovers) (100 kcal) and raw chocolate bar (150 kcal)
All together – 1200 +/- 50 kcal (if my feeling for counting calories isn’t wrong)
I’ll try to write a review on book 80/10/10 tomorrow. 🙂
Good night :*

Differences between real hunger and psychological hunger

Stress, exhaust, sadness, anger, boredom, thurst are frequently connected with the need for biting something. We think we feel hungry all the time and we just grab something that we can eat quickly and then we want more and so we look for everything eatable around us. And bite and chew and lose the feeling of quantity and satiety and time. Not much later, we regret it all and promise to ourselves that this was the last time, but really really last. And then go to bed or stare in whatever screen we find something interesting on. It becomes a circle that is really hard to break. Stress – the need for consolation – “hunger” – eating – feeling of satisfy – feeling of guilt – the need for consolation again…

I think it happend to many people, almost to everyone. It’s not a big problem, if it happens occasionally. People, who are strong enough step back on the floor and don’t let it become a habit. If emotional eating becomes a part of someone’s life, however, it’s hard to overcome. It means thinking about food all the time and the need for eating appears after every feeling.

I used to have problems with emotional eating as well. It’s hard to say, if I overcame them completely, but it is absolutelly much better since I’m trying to accept myself.

Also, I started listening to my body and recognizing, when I really need food and when I just…want it. Here are some differences between real and psychological hunger:

  1. Real hunger doesn’t come suddenly. It comes gradually and it depends on the time passed from your last meal. The “false” hunger happens suddenly, it is not related to what or when did you eat before. You might not be hungry a moment ago, but right now you’d be killing for food.
  2. When you are seriously hungry, you don’t crave a specific food, while when you just have psychological hunger, you do. And this is usually not fruit or vegetables, normally you want sugar, fat or salt. I heard many times that hunger leads to overeating bad foods, but real hunger doesn’t lead to do this. Emotional hunger does. To discover, if I’m really hungry or not I use two tests: one is drinking a glass of water and waiting if hunger dissapears or not. Thurst is many time misinterpreted and we eat when we actually need water. It happend because the parts of the brain, responsible to recognize hunger and thurst, are so close to each other. Second thing I do is asking myself if I would eat an apple or a salad. If the answer is yes, then it is real hunger. If it’s no, it’s better to drink water and wait until it is time for your next meal.
  3. If you are hungry, you can wait like 30 more minutes (to do some tasks before or to cook). Contrary, if the hunger is emotional, you need certain food immediatelly. It seems you can’t wait a single minute.
  4. Psychological hunger is connected with certain situations like bad day at work, exam failure, love problems, family issues, stress, lack of sleeping etc. It is not connected with your body requiring fuel.
  5. Feeding is automatic, when you’re eating to satisfy your emotional hunger. You don’t really taste and enjoy your food, while when you’re really hungry, you are conscious all the time. You feel all the tastes, you feel the texture, you eat with all your senses.
  6. If you were really hungry, you know, when it’s time to stop eating. When you don’t feel hunger anymore, of course! In this case you consciously decide if you are going to eat the whole portion or less. If you eat, when you don’t really need the food, your body is confused, therefore it sends you wrong signals. That’s why you can’t stop eating.
  7. The feelings after you stop eating are different. When you didn’t eat because you were hungry, you ate “bad” food, you ate too much and of course you don’t feel well. You feel guilty, which leads you…well, you know how it goes. When you eat because of the phisical need, you don’t feel any guilt when you finish your meal. Eating is something normal and necessary.

Keep in mind: love yourself first. You control your food, don’t let the food controlling you.

Beside my experiences, I used this post as a source. I reccomand to all Slovene speaking readers to take a look. The author is a nice raw vegan girl, who has really good ideas and recipes. The webpage is in Slovene, but I summarized this post here. 🙂


Wednesday – weigh in, women’s issues, workout and what I ate

These days I am eating quite well, without many extra calories from sweets or fat. My workouts are regular, not any less intensive as they were. I drink lots of water and green tea. So, it seems I’m doing everything right, aren’t I? Of course, I didn’t expect my weight to go straight back to 41 kg over night, but the number I saw this morning, shocked me. My weight should be between 44 and 45 kg, but today the scale showed 46 (!). I was not wearing clothes and I had weight in before I ate or drank. So I decided, my dinner today would be a few laps of running. Later I realized I got period today, but I didn’t think this could cause so much extra weight. I mean, I don’t have 1 liter of blood to lose… Still, I checked if there is a connection between period and weight gain and I found out that it’s actually normal to have from 0.5 to 10 pounds more than usual. The main reason is that body stores more water this time. Read about it more precisely here:

After that, I didn’t feel so upset any more. So, I’ll repeat weigh in next week and see the difference.

I was at the gym nearly 1 hour and a half, I was doing pull-ups, dips, some byceps and tryceps exercises with weights and push-ups and planks for finish. At the evening I also went for a run (I kept my promise from the morning). I did just 7 laps, which is 7 km. With some stops to drink. I was running slowly, nearly 45 minutes. The length was 1/3 of my record (half marathon this April). It should be piece of cake for me, but it was not. Maybe because the sun was too strong (despite it was cold in the morning after yesterday’s rainstorm) or because I was training legs the day before or because my new headphones were disturbing me. Anyway, my workout was still much better than the one of people, who were sitting on the couch, drinking cheap lager and eating chips, pizza or gummy bears. 😀

Many girls complain they crave sweets all the time, when they have period or PMS (fortunatelly I don’t have this thing). But I wasn’t hungry at all today. Total energy value of the food I ate today was around 1000 calories. And it was low in sugar.

My food diary 24 June 2015


MyFitnessPal said: “If every day were like today… You’d weigh 40.5 kg in 5 weeks” 🙂

Have a good night and sweet dreams! 🙂

New logo


I was thinking of drawing the new logo for my page on my own. I really did create something. It’s not perfect, though. Maybe I should take more time to do it or learn how to edit the pictures on computer – honestly, I have no practise with it. But still, if you like it, I would put it on. Here it is, just tell me how you like it.

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I believe in the blerch

The blerch is a fat little cherub who follows me when I run. He is a wretched, lazy beast. He tells me to slow down, to walk, to quit.”

If you know The Oatmeal, you must also know who is this blerch. If  you have no idea, what am I talking about see the website: You’re gonna have sooo much fun reading the comics. I just read the book: The terrible and wonderful reasons why I run long distances. I suggest you to read it if you like running and also if you don’t (especialy if you don’t), I was dying of laughter while reading 😀

Actually it’s not just about running, it’s about suffering, pleasure, escaping everyday life (going straight to nirvana part), the feeding and the blerch with its “excellent” advice for eating, pardon – fueling and resting.

There are two things I liked the most. The first is the author’s description of the treadmill and what a perfect invention they are – for those who hate the outdoors and prefer starring at the walls or television. I hate the treadmills, too. I can’t understand people, who come to the gym (probably by car) and walk on this torture machine for an hour. It is not even close to running. The second part are his thoughts of food. It’s like reading my thoughts, sometimes: “I overeat because food tastes good, but more importantly I do it because it feels good. It’s a nine minute vacation. It’s a short dip into a shallow pool of chewing, tasting and swallowing…” Comparing overeating with drug addiction makes sense. It actually is an addiction – my opinion is, it is worse than drug, alcohol, cigarette or any other. We need food for living, we eat every day and so we beat the addiction harder. Food can be the medicine or the poison.

This blerch must be real, he must be also following me sometimes or anyone of you. Just try to shut him up.

So much for today, I was planning to continue my post with the differences between real hunger and psycological hunger, but it’s time to go to sleep. I hate being in front of the computer late at night, lack of sleeping or not sleeping on proper time can make you fat.

That’s all folks! Good night 🙂

“Sometimes it’s all you need to wear”

Does it sound any familiar to you? Remember who said this? Let me refrash your memory: Christina Aguilera perfume

Yesterday I didnn’t write any post. I was working at the cosmetic shop as a perfume promoter. One of the perfumes on discount was Christina’s – although I am not a fan of perfumes made by celebtities (I mean models and singers), that one is not bad at all. I was even wearing it when I was working. It was not the only thing I was wearing, obviousely 🙂 (the time to wear only the perfume came later, after work was done – now you know why was I too busy at the evening to write :D)

I was wearing black T-shirt and black trousers and nice jewellery at work. I actually felt beautiful that time, probably because of all black clothes on me and beautiful make-up. Black was kind of dress code.


The work was less boring that I thought, some costumers were really funny, especially older ladies – sometimes they don’t stop talking 😀 Even when there was anyone interested in perfumes, I found something to do – walking around and smelling all perfumes that attracted me – pour homme et pour femme – I liked some of male perfumes so much that I would even like to wear them 😀

Today I went to the gym in the morning and my leg day was not easy, but I still had the power to do these 45 burpees for finish. I’ve been eaten clean since Friday or Thursday, I drink a lot of water and green tea, my trainings are still regular and a little bit harder, so this shouldn’t be happened according to all the logic…it’s contradictory….the scale showed 46 kg (I’ve never been that fat since I was 17). Normally my weight is between 44 and 45 kg, last year it was 43 kg….I don’t understand it. Yesterday I didn’t eat more than 1000 kcal (I think it was even nearly 900). I’ll say the thing I said already few 100 times before: I’ll keep eating clean, I’ll not eat more than 1200 calories, I’ll workout at least 5 times a week, this time I will really follow all of this, without chocolate attacks.

P.S. Today there was I.B.F.F. competition in my town – these guys covered with brown skin colour are sooooo hilarious 😀

A day to almost call it perfect

I think I should be quite proud of myself today, once for a change I have reasons to be(exept for Saturday’s brilliant discover to change my thoughts to change my life

  1. I already told you about my English exam, the one I almost didn’t have enough time to finish. I may be a slow writer, but my English is good enough for the highest grade. And I got another 10 (we have grades from 1 to 10, 6 needed to pass) in another subject, but it’s not official yet.
  2. My workout was intensive enough, I felt great doing it, I had no fear how would I look like, if I stop going to fitness from any reason, but I just kept doing pull-ups and push-ups and lifting hand weights, I was there for 1 and a half hour, I was thinking about finishing, but I was still full of energy, so I did 50 burpees as the last exercise.
  3. I got a new part time job! It’s just for July, but still better than no job or job that I would hate. I’ll work as a waitress in a small restaurant, where they also serve student meals (also healthy options and many vegetarian or vegan dishes).
  4. I never liked to practise playing musical instruments (we must play them at the faculty). But today I grabbed the block flute and played.
  5. I was quite successful with the food. I tried to eat just a little carbs, and the success has last until now. All together I ate nearly 1200 kcal. More details here: wpid-screenshot_2015-06-18-21-23-20.png wpid-screenshot_2015-06-18-21-23-29.png

My food diary 18 June 2015

It seems that I ate way too much fat, but, if you decrease your carbs, it is logical that the % of protein and fat increase (all together always makes 100 % – the book 80/10/10 explains this thing very well). This ratio changed a little bit now, because I just couldn’t do without something sweet and I ate a raw coconut & cocoa bar which has 148 kcal, 20.9 g of carbs and 7.8 g of fat. It’s one of the best I ever tried. Look for this:   🙂

Oh, yes, the reason why I put the word “almost” in the title – I missed something fun or special to happen. I missed someone to make me laugh, to talk with me, someone to spend my time with doing just anything…

Thanks to all of you, who follow my blog. XOXO 🙂